It’s never the same

Greg Corbin Speaks
4 min readApr 1, 2019

“Sometimes we dont have relationships. We have addictions.”

Recently I went to an event that I’ve attended for years. It’s a powerful networking event that can shift your net worth over time if you work the relationships correctly. The room is always festive with movers and shakers, people sending their best recreation, yet professional projections into reality. The body language of the event is constantly having a conversation, ciphering around class dynamics mixed with race and politics, but all driven towards one key theme. #Opportunity!

My latest visit to this event was very interesting. I noticed something had changed, and nothing was the same. I spoke to multiple people who felt the same way. “It’s not the same”. The discovery that I had was powerful. I realized in that moment was I was fully present, floating in an endless moment of the now.

They didn’t feel the same, I didn’t feel the same, because we weren’t the same.

“It ain’t the same…”

Friend: “What up G!? Where have you been? Haven’t seen you in social media or anything. Where ya been. I miss you.”

Me: “I’ve been inside. Just working on my home.”

Friend: “Oh that makes sense. You brought a house. I know how that can be. I own a few homes.”

My Dream Home: It will be real soon.

Me: “No. I haven’t brought a house yet. I’m inside of my home. I’ve been inside of myself studying my spirit, my emotional housing and the foundation, because home is where the heart is, so that’s where I’m spending a lot of time.” (I honestly thought they were going to walk away, because I wasn’t interested in the performance.)

Friend: What you mean?

Me: “Home is where the heart is. Not just the location. I had some leaky ceilings that needed to be fixed. There was an old refrigerator that needed to be tossed out. It stopped working years ago. The basement needed to be cleared out. There were so many bags down there.”

Friend: “That’s some real shit G! It actually makes sense. This event ain’t the same.”

Me: “It’s not supposed to be the same, because you’re not the same. You came here searching for a moment you enjoyed. A moment you were once in love with. And now that moment can no longer be found in this environment because you’re no longer the same person you once were. Many people come to events searching for their past forgetting that the past is the past. We all have done it, expecting to get that feeling and emotional response that will provide the chemical reactions we’ve grown addicted to. So in reality, at times we don’t have relationships. We have addictions.”

Friend: “What do you mean?”

Me: “You came here trying to rekindle a feeling of good times, but in real time that moment is one that is gone. It is a moment that you will never receive again. All you have is now. You’re not who you were 5 years ago. Therefore your perspective has evolved and shifted. The search is the pursuit of happiness and not eternal joy. That is the addiction! Trying to build happiness out of external events, instead of investing inside of yourself. “

Friend: “Please explain a little more, especially the addiction part. You got me thinking about a few of my exes.. .haha”

Me: “The question is what did this event provide for you before, that it can no longer provide for you in the now? And why is that? What void did it fill within you? And how did your spirit lead you back to this moment to have this conversation? What is it that your true self needs and is searching for? This event and other things are no longer doing that. Therefore you may need to sit still, go inside, and visit your home for a while. I know you may feel you’re going to miss out by stepping back, but what are you missing? A disappointing moment where your expectations fall short. That’s what we are addicted to. The moments we cant get back, attached to people we asscoiate with good times. I mean look! We are standing in a large ballroom watching the performers perform, acting out their scripts given to them through inheritance and socialization. We perform too. We’re just lucky enough to be aware of the show and the roles we play.”

We parted ways, with a pending follow up breakfast. I thought, “It’s never the same. Our eyes just refuse how they see the world.”

We are all spiritual beings having a human experience, for that is the main test. How to dance in both worlds, multiple worlds without fully losing track of your whole self. Things are supposed to change and if we are aware we can notice the change coming before it arrives.

Koh Sumui, Thailand

The most beautiful things happen when we go inside. When we change the reflection of our inner world, our outside world has no choice but to change.

As an imagination activist, I teach students (young and old) how to dream, build their goals from scratch, so they can crystalize in the present. A human centered social justice activist, I create space and opportunity for connection, equity and growth for individuals and groups from all demographics. In my work I’ve grown to discover that every human being has not just a highlight reel, but a blooming backstory that shapes their personality and character.

For bookings email: gregcorbinspeaks@gmail.com

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Greg Corbin Speaks

Leader in Diversity and Inclusion • Storyteller • Educator • Poet • Speaker • Writer